We had our wedding in the Czech Republic when I’m originally from. So you can imagine that my husband didn’t do much planning or helping. It was all up to me and my mum, but it was my price to pay for having the wedding in my home town with my grandfathers.
On top of everything, I got a nasty virus and couldn’t get rid of it for over two months, I was so ill that my dad was even thinking about calling off the wedding. I don’t know how but somehow I made survived the wedding. Oh yeah, and I had my period too! Dream wedding right 🙂
I got lots of coaching and did some ‘self-coaching’ to get over the fact I’ll be the second wife before we got even engaged, you can read more about it HERE.
Our wedding needs to be better and more beautiful!!
Of course, I wanted the wedding to be great, no perfect because that’s just not possible. At some point, I could see how my insecurity and envy are creeping in. I had to remind myself that our relationship is completely different, the reason we’re getting married is different, so comparing his first wedding to our is total nonsense.
What really helped me as well, was talking to Kevin. I wanted to hear about his first wedding, it wasn’t easy but it was important for me to know all, the good and the bad.
…….btw he didn’t remember much anyway, looks like men are blocking or forgetting even important moments like their own weddings after break up/divorce.
How much I want my stepdaughter to be involved?!?
Like every bride, the wedding was ‘my day’!!! 🙂 I saw videos on social media how step-mums say vows to their stepchildren, everyone gets emotional, everyone is crying and all I thought was ‘yep, I’m not doing this!’.
For two reasons
- I didn’t want to! I wanted the ceremony to be about us and for us. I get it sounds selfish and I don’t care. I’ve been doing so much for my blended family so I wanted the ceremony be done in my way.
- I didn’t ignore her, she was my flower girl and she was a big part of our wedding. We talk about everything we needed before and she knows how much she means to me. PLUS she’s wouldn’t like to be put on the spot, it might end up with tears (not happy tears).
The big day
I really didn’t have time to compare if my wedding was better or thinking about how I’m the second wife now. Some people said our wedding was better and yes there was a part of me that was happy to hear that, but our wedding wasn’t a competition. It was OUR special day!
There is nothing wrong about feeling insecure or envy a little bit his ex that she had the first ‘I do!’. What I would recommend to you only one thing:
Work on these feelings as soon as you notice them! Don’t wait for this crap ruin your wedding.
P.S. NEVER PUSH YOURSELF TO DO SOMETHING AT YOUR WEDDING YOU DON’T WANT JUST BECAUSE YOU SAW IN ONLINE OR YOU THINK IT WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER STEP-MUM OR WIFE. DO WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP.